Autism and Gratitude

In recent years, more and more attention has been focused on gratitude.  There’s even -something called the science of gratitude.  A growing number of studies now examine the psychological, physical, and social consequences of feeling and showing appreciation.  For instance, what are the psychological consequences of counting blessings rather than burdens?  And for those who regularly practice gratitude, what is the effect on their optimism, well-being, and social relationships?

Perhaps it’s not surprising that research on autism hardly mentions the word gratitude.  It’s worth noting that researchers have pretty much ignored the gratitude shown by autistic individuals themselves.  When gratitude is studied in the autistic community, the spotlight tends to be on parents and caregivers, and how they can develop an “attitude of gratitude,” as Oprah Winfrey would say.  For some, this is a tall order considering how unbelievably challenging it can be to raise someone with autism.

Robert Emmons, one of the most highly respected names in this field, suggests that people in general need to focus on people for whom they’re grateful rather than material items.  My son Jimmy is a perfect example.  As a matter of fact, he uses about one-fifth of his salary from Walmart to buy greeting cards each week to express his thanks in different ways to specific people in his life.  Why does he do this?  It’s certainly not due to peer pressure or social norms.

In his book, “A Simple Act of Gratitude:  How Learning to Say Thank You Changed My Life, “ the author describes how the regular practice of writing thank you notes lifted him out of depression.  With Jimmy, frequent expressions of gratitude make him genuinely happy, to say nothing of the joy he gives others.

In my new book, A Mommy, A Daddy, Two Sisters, and A Jimmy, I talk about Jimmy’s constantly evolving social circle.  Despite his communication challenges, he maintains a broad and diverse social network.  What’s his secret?  One key factor, without a doubt, is the pure joy he feels when he expresses appreciation for people in his life. And he doesn’t just feign appreciation, he really means it.  Just ask his pastors, friends, coaches, doctors, teachers, and neighbors.

Please note: I just finished a book that applies the latest research on autism to our family’s journey over more than four decades.  My son Jimmy is a middle-aged adult on the autism spectrum.  The voices and perspectives of my son, my wife and two daughters as well as friends and professionals are included throughout.  It’s a real, uplifting, and remarkable story; one which I have wanted to share for a long time.  Both the print and Kindle version of this book are now available.  Profits will go to Linwood Center, an internationally recognized program whose mission is to create extraordinary lives for children and adults with autism (see https://aJimmy.com).

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