A few days ago yet another book came out about uncomfortable, cross-racial dialogues. It’s gotten a lot of publicity, in large part because of the charisma of its author and the backing of Oprah Winfrey. And it’s certainly timely given all that has taken place since George Floyd’s tragic death in late May.
The book, Uncomfortable Conversations with A Black Man, largely speaks to Whites. The author, Emmanuel Acho, is a former Black NFL star with the Philadephia Eagles and is now an analyst for Fox Sports. According to Oprah Winfrey, it’s a serious attempt to break down fears, biases, prejudices, and frustrations; by broaching tough-to-talk-about subjects such as defunding the police, reverse racism, the “broken Black family,” and White privilege. Oprah argues the book will effect “true change.”
While I haven’t bought the book, I’ve gotten a feel for it by watching a number of Acho’s videos and listening to some of the uncomfortable conversations he writes about (see https://uncomfortableconvos.com/)
A few thoughts if I may:
- While this book may move us closer to respect and understanding, or what I term diversity consciousness, simply reading a book or listening to a dialogue is probably one of the least effective ways of bringing about change. Learning by doing is much more likely to have a significant impact. Instead of or in addition to reading this book, talk with a Black man and/or woman if you are White. Better yet, talk to a whole bunch of them. And keep talking.
- Acho talks about race and racism with celebrities such as actor Matthew McConaughey, actress and tv talk show host Chelsea Handler, as well as a number of White police from the Petaluma Police Department (PA). While he delves into some serious stuff with these “guests,” it seems pretty scripted to me; especially the dialogue between him and McConaughey. In my racially -mixed college sociology classes, we also have uncomfortable conversations of this nature. But there’s no script to speak of. And there are many more points of view, from ordinary, diverse people who are not “on stage” being filmed. The result, I think, is much more free-flowing, down-to-earth honesty.
- At one point, Acho prefaces his conversations by inviting people into what he terms his “safe space.” But you have to wonder how safe his guests feel. Trust takes time to develop, and really opening up about race requires a great deal of trust. Unfortunately, Acho’s conversations don’t last over the course of days, weeks, or months. Consequently, there’s hardly any time to reflect, ask follow-up questions, and carry on a meaningful dialogue.
As a sociologist, I have a bias. I feel you can learn a whole lot more about society by examining race with ordinary folks in our everyday lives. In other words, don’t talk with just one Black or Brown or White man or woman, talk with a whole bunch. And keep talking, even when it’s painful and difficult. Only then will we be able to truly make a difference.
At the beginning of his discussion with the white police officers, Acho asked one of them, “When’s the last time you sat down and had a discussion with a group of Black people?” After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, the officer replied, “Never.” That is going to have to stop if we’re really serious about effecting true social change.
Links to more from Dr. Bucher:
Buy A MOMMY, A DADDY, TWO SISTERS AND A JIMMY: AUTISM AND THE DIFFERENCE IT MAKES at Amazon.com