I have no idea what Tom Brady has been going through as far as trying to balance twenty-plus years of playing in the NFL and being there for his wife and children. And yet I do know what he’s been going through. A week ago, Brady and his wife Gisele Bündchen ended their very public marriage after thirteen years. At times, the elite NFL quarterback and the world renown supermodel have seemingly been fairly open about his playing career over the course of more than two decades and its impact on their relationship and their children. Not too long ago, Gisele talked about growing apart and “wanting Brady to retire” which he did at the end of last season, at least for a short while.
Sport is often called a microcosm of society for a reason. And yet many sport commentators and journalists want to make Brady out to be one of a kind because of his fame and fortune and the fishbowl in which he lives. Yes, he has pressures and public scrutiny that I can’t imagine. His competitiveness and passion for the game of football is off the charts. Even Gisele has admitted that. And that can be a double-edged sword. That unbelievable passion for your career can make it difficult to find the time or energy to be there for your kids or your wife for that matter. Prior to their breakup, Gisele said she’d like Tom to be “more present;” a tough thing to do given his love for the game of football and all that he puts into being the best.
There are those who argue that elite athletes and coaches have more pressure on them than fathers in other lines of work. I don’t buy it; pressure comes in all shapes and sizes. And it’s not just about the demands of the profession, it’s also about the demands of one’s family situation. For instance, what about the father who has to balance two jobs to support his family, all the while being there for his stay-at-home wife and his child who has a serious lifelong disability?
Rather than pressure, it seems to me that commitment to one’s family is of paramount importance. Certainly, making that lifelong commitment is extremely difficult. It means putting your family first and laying it all on the line for your children and wife. So much of the discussion around Tom and Gisele has revolved around what’s best for them. And yet being a good daddy requires a realignment of sorts, as Brady is discovering. Brady now says his focus is on his children as well as winning football games.
In her book Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, published only a few years ago, Gisele writes, “…I love my husband – and most of all, I trust him. With Tom, who provides our family with a stable foundation, I’m able to create a home.” That home looks different now, but the need for commitment, cooperation. and trust continue. It won’t be easy for Brady, the father, but then again it never is.
According to the Pew Research Center, many fathers today (about half) find it “very” or “somewhat difficult” to balance work and family life. Brady is no different. Many fathers today (about 30%) say they “always feel rushed” trying to balance their responsibilities. Brady is no different. Finally, many Americans (about half) say men face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent. Certainly, Brady is very familiar with pressure. On the football field he thrives on it. But family is a different kind of pressure, with its own rewards.
Check out:
Dr. Bucher’s Web site on Diversity Consciousness: Opening Our Minds to People, Cultures, and Opportunities
Buy Dr. Bucher’s book – Diversity Consciousness
Dr. Bucher’s Facebook page on Diversity Consciousness
Links to more from Dr. Bucher…
Dr. Bucher’s Facebook page on Autism
Dr. Bucher’s Website for his book A MOMMY, A DADDY, TWO SISTERS AND A JIMMY: AUTISM AND THE DIFFERENCE IT MAKES
Tom Brady…all that different?
I have no idea what Tom Brady has been going through as far as trying to balance twenty-plus years of playing in the NFL and being there for his wife and children. And yet I do know what he’s been going through. A week ago, Brady and his wife Gisele Bündchen ended their very public marriage after thirteen years. At times, the elite NFL quarterback and the world renown supermodel have seemingly been fairly open about his playing career over the course of more than two decades and its impact on their relationship and their children. Not too long ago, Gisele talked about growing apart and “wanting Brady to retire” which he did at the end of last season, at least for a short while.
Sport is often called a microcosm of society for a reason. And yet many sport commentators and journalists want to make Brady out to be one of a kind because of his fame and fortune and the fishbowl in which he lives. Yes, he has pressures and public scrutiny that I can’t imagine. His competitiveness and passion for the game of football is off the charts. Even Gisele has admitted that. And that can be a double-edged sword. That unbelievable passion for your career can make it difficult to find the time or energy to be there for your kids or your wife for that matter. Prior to their breakup, Gisele said she’d like Tom to be “more present;” a tough thing to do given his love for the game of football and all that he puts into being the best.
There are those who argue that elite athletes and coaches have more pressure on them than fathers in other lines of work. I don’t buy it; pressure comes in all shapes and sizes. And it’s not just about the demands of the profession, it’s also about the demands of one’s family situation. For instance, what about the father who has to balance two jobs to support his family, all the while being there for his stay-at-home wife and his child who has a serious lifelong disability?
Rather than pressure, it seems to me that commitment to one’s family is of paramount importance. Certainly, making that lifelong commitment is extremely difficult. It means putting your family first and laying it all on the line for your children and wife. So much of the discussion around Tom and Gisele has revolved around what’s best for them. And yet being a good daddy requires a realignment of sorts, as Brady is discovering. Brady now says his focus is on his children as well as winning football games.
In her book Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, published only a few years ago, Gisele writes, “…I love my husband – and most of all, I trust him. With Tom, who provides our family with a stable foundation, I’m able to create a home.” That home looks different now, but the need for commitment, cooperation. and trust continue. It won’t be easy for Brady, the father, but then again it never is.
According to the Pew Research Center, many fathers today (about half) find it “very” or “somewhat difficult” to balance work and family life. Brady is no different. Many fathers today (about 30%) say they “always feel rushed” trying to balance their responsibilities. Brady is no different. Finally, many Americans (about half) say men face a lot of pressure to be an involved parent. Certainly, Brady is very familiar with pressure. On the football field he thrives on it. But family is a different kind of pressure, with its own rewards.
Check out:
Dr. Bucher’s Web site on Diversity Consciousness: Opening Our Minds to People, Cultures, and Opportunities
Buy Dr. Bucher’s book – Diversity Consciousness
Dr. Bucher’s Facebook page on Diversity Consciousness
Links to more from Dr. Bucher…
Dr. Bucher’s Facebook page on Autism
Dr. Bucher’s Website for his book A MOMMY, A DADDY, TWO SISTERS AND A JIMMY: AUTISM AND THE DIFFERENCE IT MAKES