Toward the end of his life, Steve Jobs was quoted by the author of his soon-to-be released biography. After living a private life and keeping to himself much of the time, Jobs was asked why he authorized a very revealing, tell-all biography. His answer? “I wanted my kids to know me,” to understand why he wasn’t always there for them.
That brief comment kind of got lost in the midst of all of the accolades written about Jobs and all of the tributes to this remarkable man. Often, when we are facing death, it is cause for reflection. And this man’s thoughts turned to his family, and “family/work balance.”
I am not sure balance is the correct term. Raising a son with autism and two daughters, my life always seemed to be out of balance no matter my priorities or how hard I worked. It seemed there was never enough time to fulfill my responsibilities to work and family. Looking back, I remember time being too precious and literally running to do errands whenever I went anywhere.
I can only imagine how Steve Jobs felt as a father and as a CEO. From everything I have heard, he was a very dedicated, loving father. And yet, he realized he could not have it all, in spite of his ample resources, financial and otherwise. He realized that while quality time with one’s children is important, so too is the quantity of time.
Increasingly, young male workers are viewing themselves as fathers first and workers second. And yet, they struggle with the imbalance in their lives, in spite of all of the formal and informal personal and organizational “arrangements” to help them manage. It is interesting that when working fathers take time off for the birth of their child or child-care issues, this is often viewed as damaging to their careers.
Flex-time and telecommuting, job-sharing, parental leaves, child-care resources, and other forms of support for working parents help, but they can only do so much. For many dads today, work-life balance is their number one priority. Unfortunately, that balancing act is a difficult, if not impossible goal for many of us, no matter how dedicated we are to our families and our jobs.