Lots of times growing up, I can remember thinking life just isn’t fair. For example, I remember my dad not allowing me to practice the day before my Pleasantville (NY) junior varsity basketball game against Pelham. I was in the middle of final exams and he thought I should be studying, not practicing. He shared this with my coach. No matter, the next day, after I took my last final exam, my coach didn’t play me at all even though I was a starter. My dad and coach made the rules. I had no say in the matter, and that didn’t seem fair.
Pollsters at YouGov.com recently asked the question, “Do you think life is fair?” They asked this question of people in the U.S. and throughout the world, in countries such as Thailand, Vietnam, and Australia. Rather than clearly define fair in the survey, they let the respondents come up with their own definition. Looking at the data, it seems respondents generally think life is fair if there’s a level playing field, meaning everyone has an equal opportunity to get ahead and move up or down the social ladder. YouGov.com found people from “less developed” countries such as Hong Kong (74%) and Singapore (59%) were much more likely to agree that life isn’t fair. They also found that women were less likely than men to agree that life is fair.
When I asked this question of my community college students in Introductory Sociology, most of whom are African Americans living in downtown Baltimore, a clear majority answered life is not fair. They supported their responses by pointing to numerous situations in which their race worked against them in terms of upward mobility. However, roughly one in five students (black and white) typically disagreed, arguing that life is fair and people just need to take advantage of the opportunities that are out there and work harder.
As a child, when I argued that a particular punishment wasn’t fair, I remember my mom pretty much ignoring me or telling me to plead my case with dad; and dad looking at me as if I was from another planet. He would ask why on earth did I think life was fair, and he was in no mood to argue that point. In so many words, he was the “king of his castle” and that was it.
As an adult, I see unequal playing fields all around; locally, nationally, and internationally. The just concluded Olympic Games in Tokyo is just one example. Take gender. Many see the Olympic Games as gender-neutral, meaning the Olympics is one place where all genders have an equal or fair opportunity. In 1896, founder Pierre de Coubertin barred women from the first Olympic Games. A little more than one-half century later (1952), women still make up only about 10% of participants. While significant progress has been made since then, training, media coverage, and funding for female athletes still often lag way behind males.
Do you think life is fair? If you do, you’re in the minority in the U.S. but quite a few people share your opinion. Data from the poll shows about one-third of Americans think life is fair. But was the sample representative? It seems to me that socioeconomic status, race, gender, religion, disability, education, and a slew of other variables probably factor in. Regardless of who we are and our background, many of us are socialized to believe that anyone in the U.S. can become middle or upper class through hard work and perseverance, or for that matter, anyone can win a gold medal. What about you?
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“Is life fair?” What is fair? Equal playing fields offer more opportunities but I contend life is not always fair, yet, life is available.
“Chance, a possibility of something happening must figure into the equation. I was one of Dr.Bucher’s students in Baltimore and i will never forget a student lambasting her neighbor who lived in a nicer house and drove a newer car, “She thinks she’s all that!” I asked the young lady why she did not approach her neighbor and ask how she could afford to have nice amenities instead of hating on her neighbor? I saw an opportunity a chance encounter to learn something she did not know. Yet the students attitude blocked the opportunity and the chance to rise to a higher level of fairness. A bad attitude is a sure destroyer of chance, emotional responses hinder growth. America has bot been fair to people of color historically, yet all people of color are not poor, every facet of life is represented by people of color, yet the questions as to how they succeeded is not a frequently asked question, why?
Is it pride, envy or a lack of curiosity? I contend its a lack if curiosity and a smudging of pride and envy. When i hear someone tell another to stay in their lane, i shudder, especially when there are children involved, yet it happens early in our homes and perpetuated our schools. Never should a child be told, “Children should be seen and not heard,” when this happens we are uprooting the seeds of inquiry which can lead to a life that is not fair and often destroyed. My mom always told us, “It’s not who you know, its who knows you, always be nice, don’t burn bridges and always say Thank you!”
No, life is NOT fair, life us available and the chances one takes can make all the difference in one’s trajectory towards a fairer life.
Insightful Patrick, as usual. Always appreciate your openness and honesty. Like your use of the term available. As you say it’s important to be available so you can take advantages of opportunities when they present themselves. And yes, we can create opportunities as you make clear (” a chance encounter to learn”).
Thanks.