Work/Family Balance: A Male Perspective (Part Two)

Does Sarah Palin “have it all?”  Three days after the birth of her first child, she was back to being Governor of Alaska.  A few years ago, Palin had a child with Down syndrome, Trig.  And while she credits a big loving family and a supportive network for helping her adjust and maintain a demanding schedule often times away from home, it doesn’t hurt that she is a millionaire.  As the parent of a child with a disability, I know how demanding it can be to maintain a job and be a good daddy.

When my wife and I had our first child, a son with autism, we took a crash course in raising a child with a severe disability.  I utilized everything my social class afforded me – my education, my social network, my health benefits, and my income.  Without those advantages, I am not sure how my wife, my child, and I would have managed.  Yes, my job as a college professor enabled me some flexibility; but even so, there was never enough time.  As I look back, I remember I was always running.  I ran to the store, I ran from aisle to aisle within the store, I ran home to be with my son, and then I ran to work the next day.  Time almost seemed too precious.  I reserved any free time for my child and my wife, and I tried to work as hard as I could to conserve time.

When it comes to having it all, social class can make all the difference in the world.  Slaughter, in her article, treats it as a sidelight.  It isn’t.  Well-to-do mothers and fathers can hire nannies and other full-time help to take care of things.  Moreover, they have more power to make it easier on themselves at work, whether that might include doling out work, missing meetings, or working from home.  Also, the public is sometimes more understanding of parents who embody the American economic dream.

If we flip this idea on its head, consider women who do not have power and privilege.  What about the African-American and minority women who were working long before feminism really caught on in this country.  Talk about a lack of a support system and a physical and mental drain.  The movie, The Help, portrays women who cared for white women’s children all day long, and then had to return to their own homes.  Because of their social class and their race, women such as these tend to be invisible in a discussion such as this.

And while we are at it, let’s consider men who are poor and work two or three jobs just to make ends meet; and in spite of the mental and physical drain of meeting all of their responsibilities, somehow manage to be good daddies.  Do they have it all?  It might be interesting to ask them.

to be continued…

 

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